


No One Said It Would Be Easy

by Keyschick92



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 03:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keyschick92/pseuds/Keyschick92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Said It Would Be Easy

Danielle's party, the pub crawl, a brief stop to wish Allison a happy 21st birthday, but now, 3am, and Adam was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. The past few months were finally catching up with him and the reality of it was pulling him down into a mindset he hadn't had to face for a few years. There were a lot of good things about being alone, but right now he couldn't think of any. Fucking a hot new boy any time you felt like it didn't qualify as not being alone.

Opening the door to the condo, he was transported to another world. Candles were lit, soft music was playing, and a beautiful blonde boy, HIS beautiful blonde boy, was asleep on the sofa. Kneeling beside him, touching the colorful tattoos seemed so familiar, so intimate, but Adam wasn't sure ...... he wasn't sure about anything. Was this still okay?

"You're home." Sauli leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "I'm glad you're home."

It took Adam's breath away. "Did you wait up for me?"

"I did. Do you mind? I don't have much time left and I wanted to spend it with you."

"God, Sauli. I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know, it will be strange." 

Sauli reflected on how he had been so grateful and excited when Adam told him he should just stay until it was time to leave for Finland, not look for another place, not stay with one of his many international friends, not even go to Danielle's, despite her invitation. He should just stay here, finish his filming, water the plants while Adam was away, which made them both laugh, and they would figure out how they would live their new reality.

"I was going to soak in the tub, want to come with me?"

Sauli threw the sheet off and stood up. Adam groaned, "You're naked on purpose, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you mean," Sauli smirked then headed down the darkened hallway, feeling eyes following him. "The candles. I don't want to burn the place down." He retraced his steps, wandered around the room blowing out each candle. When he stopped in front of Adam , who was still sitting on the floor leaning back against the sofa, he stepped between the bended knees. "You are so beautiful," he whispered as he brushed his cock against the upturned face, then nudged the full lips open. "Just a taste." 

He felt strong hands on his legs, pulling him closer as his erection was surrounded by warmth. The accompanying moan sent shivers up his spine. It was difficult to pull away, but he tapped a freckled cheek and he was released. 

" Bath time? I'll run the water, you take your clothes off, all of them." It took a minute before he heard footsteps behind him but when they got faster he chuckled and ran into the bathroom to light the candles scattered around the room. "Hurry up, slow poke, you can hang everything up later. I'm cold."

 

Warm, fragrant water surrounded them as strong arms pulled the smaller body close. Again, the candles cast a soft glow on both freckled bodies. "Are you going to miss me?"

"You know I will."Adam murmured, "And you know I will be wondering how your show is going, where you are spending your evenings, and if you are letting anyone else fuck you. I don't want anyone else to fuck you. Is that wrong? I know I have no right to say that, but I'm saying it anyway."

"And me, Adam. Don't you think I feel the same way? Don't you know that every picture I see I will wonder if he will be taking my place."

"No one will EVER take your place!" Adam growled. "No one will ever be like you. From the first moment I saw you I knew, I mean I really KNEW that you were the one I had been searching for. Your smile, your laugh, the way you looked at me when I just showed up, dragging you away from your friends and asked you to walk with me."

"I was just too perfect for you to pass up, right?" His voice hitched as he laughed. "I wish I was still perfect and ....."

"You ARE, Sauli. You are still perfect. You are kind and funny and caring. You take care of me in a way no one else ever has. What's going to happen to me without you to make me work out, to make me drink those god-awful concoctions you create? What if I don't know how to be without you?"

"You'll be fine. We'll both be fine. But I think we will have to re-learn to exist without someone we can always count on. It seemed so easy, so logical when we made this decision, but now it hurts. It shouldn't hurt so much if it's right, should it? But there's no other solution, ya know? I'll leave soon and not be back for months, maybe even 6 months. You are just beginning work on your new music, it will take time. If I were going to be here I wouldn't care if you were gone all day because you'd come home to me, but I can't let this chance to make something of my professional life pass me by. You understand, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. You've never asked me to sacrifice my work for you and I would never ask you to do it either. You deserve this. You deserve everything that comes your way. I recognized what you could be from the beginning, and you know what, the more I got to know you, the more perfect you became. Even now, I want to put you in a room, keep you there, not let you see your friends, not let you have a career, not let you do anything except be at my side, like an art collector who stores his masterpieces in a vault where only he can see them, touch them, appreciate them. I looked at a picture someone posted online a few weeks ago and you were standing next to me, holding onto me, arms around my waist, and I had one arm over your shoulder, the other over your chest, just daring anyone to come close to you. But it isn't a SOMEONE who is taking you away, is it? It's life...... your life and my life."

"If I try to be back by Halloween will you help me dress up?"

"Silly boy, of course I will."

"Can I play in your closet sometimes?"

"You can LIVE in my closet if you'd like. And Halloween is too long to be away. Be back by the end of September. That will give you time to promote your show, let a few episodes air, then come back and do more. The weather in LA is glorious in the fall, remember? Promise me, September at the latest. Maybe we can sneak away for a trip up to Napa."

"I'll try."

"Try very hard, okay?"

 

Tears glistened in both sets of blue eyes, the candles reflected in them. "Come, my love, let's make the most of our time. You know that I will never have another 'my love,' right? I may have a boyfriend eventually, but you will always be 'my love.' A part of my heart will be shuttered off and only you will have the key. Even if I am an old married man with 3 children and a herd of reindeer living in Lapland, if you come to call, I will go with you for a bit, be your firecracker again. We are above any rules or relationships. Do you agree?"

"I so DO agree. And I may have a boyfriend, too, but not one who lives here, not in your space, not for a long time and never anyone who would keep me from seeing you. Should we write it down?"

"I think I can remember. Now come on, I have plans for you."

"Seriously? And how long have you had these plans?"

"Just a few hours, but they are good plans," he grinned. "I think you will like them."

 

Enveloped in a cloud of sheets, the boys kissed, caressed, and rolled around the huge bed. "So far, I like your plan."

"I've been thinking........"

"And?"

"It takes you a long time to really let someone 'in.' Do you know what I mean?"

"It didn't take me long with you."

"No," Sauli smiled, "But we already established that I am special. Do you remember the first time you let me make love to you?"

Adam blushed. "I do. THAT did take a little while, I guess. It's just that...... "

"No explanations. Even though you never doubted my loyalty, never, not even the first night in Helsinki. You never thought I would betray your trust, it still took a while before you would give up control. But when you did, you were glad, right?"

"So glad."

"Well, tonight is my night to love YOU, to make you feel what I do every time you push into me, hard and insistent, make me feel that I could live on your love alone."

"Sauli......."

Lips met, arms tightened around anxious bodies, and Adam surrendered willingly to his boy's ministrations. 

"Turn over, onto your stomach, unless you are too tired and want to go to sleep."

Adam snorted then did as his lover asked. Sauli massaged the tight muscles, working out the knots that ran all the way up and into the still damp hair. He loved straddling the broad back, periodically leaning down to stream kisses from neck to shoulders to the narrow waist. When Adam tried to turn over, Sauli slapped the freckled ass. "Stay still, don't fight me." He slid down, licking and kissing then sucking a mark, deep and angry looking on one cheek before he moved to the other and did the same thing. Slowly his tongue made its way lower, hands reaching between the parted legs to gently roll the encased balls eliciting a groan and the beginning of a protest which resulted in another brisk slap. 

"Owww."

"I told you to be still! Now you have my hand print on your bottom. If I had a Magic Marker I'd outline it and you would have it there for a week. Open your legs more, I'm not done marking you. I don't want any mistake about who you belong to."

"Can I turn over?"

"Only if you don't get bossy." And Adam did, suddenly reaching down and yanking the smaller body on top of him, smashing their lips together, their cocks crushed between them. "I needed to do that. Am I in trouble?"

"You are in SO much trouble. Now open your legs," and he slid back down, leaving a shining trail of saliva over nipples, navel, and hip bones. He knew the inside of Adam's thighs were one of his major erogenous zones, a subject of much discussion and torture over the last years, so he again sucked and gently bit marks up and down the inside of their seeming endless length, having to muster all his strength at times to hold them down. But when his mouth opened and he sucked in the sack, he actually heard a shout then a moan that kept on and on. 

"I can't stand it any more! Are you going to fuck me or what?"

"Eventually. I learned that word from you just weeks after I moved in. See how mean you were to me?" Sauli reached over to the bedside table, obviously having thought ahead, and pulled out the lube and one of Adam's souvenirs from the Idol tour, a small but lethal red flogger. The look in his lover's eyes caused the giggles to erupt. 

"You want to play, baby?"

All he got was a nod and a groan as the dark head was thrown back on the pillow before the soft leather had even made contact. It was exquisite misery as the leather strips ran up his stomach then down again to tickle his legs before sliding between his legs, Adam's cock became unbearably hard. 

"I can't wait any longer, baby, please. I need you in me now."

 

Watching Sauli open him up and slide in was almost more than Adam could take. He grabbed the small, muscular shoulders and brought them against him, running his teeth along the colllar bone as he arched up with each of his lover's thrusts. 

"I'm going to come, Sauli, I can't wait any longer," and he did, only to feel the warmth of Sauli's release inside him a minute later. When he got his voice back, he whispered, "You trusted me..... You knew I haven't slept with anyone else, didn't you?"

"I thought maybe you played a little, don't tell me, I don't want to know, but yes, I knew if you had really done more, you would have stopped and made me find a condom. And I, I have been too busy and too brokenhearted to find someone else. Am I allowed to tell you I am brokenhearted? I know we are doing the right thing, my love, but right now I feel shattered into a million pieces."

"Me, too, but we're good actors, aren't we? No one will know what a struggle this is, not even our closest friends. They would try to find a solution and there isn't one or we would have found it ourselves. For now, we are apart, but I don't think it will be forever. I think we will grow old together as we planned, have a life that includes kids and dogs and vacations to exotic places, and maybe a cabin with a sauna in the mountains of Finland. Sound like a plan?"

Sauli's fingers slid into Adam's wetness as he kissed the soft stomach. "It sounds like a plan. And I DO want a dog, a big dog."

"And you shall have one. We'll name him Viking." 

 

Sleep crept over the exhausted lovers and it was noon before they dragged their sticky, barely awake bodies into the shower where the kissing, the holding, the tears continued.

"You know how we have a safeword for sex?" Sauli asked. "I think we need something to do the same thing with our lives. Our tattoos, our 'oofta,' will be our shout out. If either of us moves on, really moves on, no possibility of there being an "us" in the future, but he is afraid to call with the news, the 'oofta' must go, be changed, be gone. What do you think?"

"I could never part with that."

"Yes, Adam, you could if there is no longer the same bond between us. It will be our safeword. It would be best if we could talk first, but just in case, when the love is gone, that expression of our love disappears, whoever is left will know he has to move on and close the door permanently... well, almost permanently. We can still meet up and have an illicit affair, right?"

But there was no mirth, just horror, in the deep blue eyes and the dark head was bowed.  
"I don't want that to happen, not ever."

"I don't either, but we have to recognize the possibility. Come now, let's get some lunch, water the plants, you can give me coffee and bagels all afternoon, then you will help me finish packing."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sippa. So much."

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I'm just not ready to let it go. Don't judge me, haha.


End file.
